A year ago today, SilcoTek® announced their most ambitious coating project yet, coating the world's oceans! Today SilcoTek announced the successful completion of that project and more! In an often heated and contentious press conference, SilcoTek Head Coach and President, Paul Silvis, announced that SilcoTek has not only coated the oceans but the entire Earth with their most advanced coating, Dursan®. Shocked and skeptical reporters reeled at the realization that the world would now be more corrosion resistant, inert and much nicer to look at! Here's an excerpt from today's press conference.
Reporter 1:
Mr. Silvis, how did SilcoTek manage to coat the entire Earth?
Paul:
Well as you know our Engineering and Manufacturing team came together last year and really improved production capacity, quality and yield. Our team developed a new patented coating process to allow us to coat pretty much the whole enchilada.
Reporter 2:
We don't believe you, where's the evidence that the earth is coated?
Paul:
You haven't noticed the rainbow hue around the earth? That's us! That's our distinctive rainbow coating at work!
Reporter 3:
Oh come on you can't have coated the Earth, no one saw you coating the planet!
Paul:
Our ovens are completely automated, they coated the Earth at night, when everyone was sleeping.
Reporter 3:
?
Reporter 4:
(Fingers in ears) I'm not hearing this, I'm not hearing this...
Reporter 5:
OK so let's say you did coat the Earth, what evidence do you have that the coating was successful?
Paul:
Holding up a photo of the earth, see the rainbow?
Reporter 5:
OK, that beautiful rainbow appearance might be the sun or something, do you have any other objective evidence that the coating was effective?
Paul:
Of course! As stated in our objectives, one of the benefits of coating the Earth would be a prettier planet; making our home more attractive to Alien tourists. In fact The Daily Mail reports that Alien traffic is up 75% this year; proving our coating improves the appearance of our humble home! In fact I snapped this photo of a few of our interstellar tourists while standing in line for a latte. (The line was horribly long today, by the way...).
Reporter 6: (Gasping)
Iiis that wh.wh.what I think it is?
Paul:
Yep.
That's Bob on the left, and Edith on the right. Very nice people, err, aliens. Look, if you don't believe me, read the article!
Reporter 7:
Wow! Unbelievable! What are you going to do for an encore, Mr. Silvis?
Paul:
Well the team is discussing that right now. We're not in a position to make a formal announcement right now, but we feel that our exceptional high temperature resistance may make the perfect accessory for a sun or two. Getting there could be an issue though.
Thanks so much for attending our new conference, I've got to dash now. I've got a lunch with some new friends.
Have a nice April Fools Day all!
End of press conference.
